Sometimes we give many chances to someone who doesn't deserve it while we don't want to give even one chance to someone who really deserves it.
I had a very strange relations for 1 year. We broke up around 10 times. I could say it was something like in the movie "Groundhog Day": all the time the same scenario with some differences but the next time it was the same again. I was like the cat who was eating cactus and crying and continue to eat and cry. Eat and cry. Cry and eat. I was a masochist for sure.
To give the second chance to someone is like to give him the second bullet: the first time he didn't shot you because he missed.
There were all: even moments when we hated each other, said so many bad words and... after a while continued the story.
It was painful and sometimes I cried, I promised to myself not to make it happen again, but all the time we started it again...
I only justified it by my big feelings to that man. It was clear he would not change, but my love was blind. And I was waiting one day he would say "Irina, I love you". This never happened. The best I've heard from him was:...
You are special, but this is not love
Actually, I understood, he was playing a game. Some people like to appear when it seems you forgot about them, then they get a portion of attention and disappear in peace. It's you think they appeared because they love you.
It's you think they look into your eyes with love...They only like to see and feel that you love them... It's a manipulation. He was my sweet sadist.
Probably, those painful relations would never be finished, but the man changed his location and we would never meet again (or there is always a small percent).
Otherwise... I don't know if I could stop by my own. There was something ...beyond me.
Now I don't want to have such an experience again and I'm sure better not to give the second chance to someone who already shown his real face. Okay, may be you can give the second chance, but not the third one
